Me and the guy with a TIE fighter dangling from his minivan rear view at after care pickup, we could be friends.

My 6 year old: "Why do some of the parents sit in the car for a while before picking their kids up?"

Me thinking: "Probably because they want a moment ot peace."

My response: "Umm...they are probably responding to texts that they couldn't while they were driving."

Things my toddler & @pluralistic have in common:

1. Intense desire to question authority structures & systemic injustice

2. Propensity to use the phrase "Walk away"

It shouldn't be a radical act to take my daughter to a STEM night, but I guess the fucking fascists want it to be.

Either way, I'm holding onto something that one of my favorite musicians and songwriters said recently from the stage. He ended this appropriate sentiment with "Now go fuck some shit up!"

We gotta get rid of a few oligarchs before we can get to this new beautiful place.

My 2 year old is a liquid.

She somehow expands to fill any container or bed she's in.

My 2 year old is in her pointilism era.

On a lighter note, my 6 year old points & laughs whenever they see a Cybertruck.
#ProudDad

And so it begins...

This time every year I pretend like I'm going to treat myself to a Massage Chair

And every year I hammer the forums and search high and low for a deal but come up empty handed.

Then I forget I need one until November/December next year :)

How come women put “dark smokey” makeup around their eyes to look sexy

But when I show up to work with dark circles around my eyes I get told I look like trash?

HUH?

Exhausted, I finally make it home after fighting through traffic for an hour.

Now I get to make dinner for my family which isn’t tiring at all.

Our parent’s generation only needed 1 income to financially support a family while the other stayed home and kept things in order.

Boomers ruined everything
#ageing #adulting #dadlife #parenting

Monday morning… my whole body is sore from a weekend full of yard and house work. Legs, back, arms… I’m busted.

I need a day off from my days off

Was able to admire my freshly raked lawn for about 5mins before a sudden gust of wind blew in my neighbor’s leaves on to my side again.

Kill me

What was that meme?

Nothing recharges me after a long week at work like 2 days of laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, meal prep, social obligations, kids activities, finding parking at the mall, lineups to see Santa.

There are few tasks more excruciating than trying to drag your teenager through a homework assignment they don't want to do. #dadlife

My kid just told me she’s growing out of Bluey and doesn’t want any Bluey stuff for Christmas - it’s all about Pokemon now.

Kinda sad. I LOVE Bluey. Such a wholesome and funny show.

Gonna need a minute to mourn the loss Don’t want to be the weirdo dad still watching kids shows (ignore my collection of action figures )