November 9, 2023 - Day 313 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 332
Game: WWE 2K23
Platform: Steam
Release Date: Mar 17, 2023
Installation Date: Nov 9, 2023
Unplayed: 0d
Playtime: 51m
WWE 2K23 is a pro wrestling sports sim. It's game #2 in the November Humble Choice bundle.
I am not a sports fan; my wife passionately fills that role in our relationship. I'll occasionally watch a game with her, but sports just don't do anything for me.
Then there's professional wrestling. Not only do I not see the appeal, I find it actively repellent. The showboating aggressive and sweaty men give off the same vibe as the boys who used to bully me aggressively and incessantly at school.
There are few sports I want to know less about than pro wrestling, which puts playing a game like WWE 2K23 somewhere south of playing an F1 game, and almost at survival/escape horror levels.
Although, to be honest, I once went on a hyperfocus bender on the performance side of pro-wrestling, so I know what a heel turn and face turn are, but the sports side? I was even LESS interested in knowing more.
I was fully prepared to dislike this game. I WANTED to dislike this game. I figured I'd get in, play 15 minutes and get out, have a little rant about it, and free up 80 gigs of precious SSD space.
I loaded it up. The game aggressively loading up on the wrong monitor helped. Forcing me straight into a tutorial without first letting me adjust the settings? Pump it into my veins. Hiding the settings menu somewhere other than the options menu? Just trying to get it working has eaten up a good chunk of my 15 minutes. I'm ready to rant.
However, it's not a fair review of *the game*, so into the tutorial with some guy named Xavier Woods, who's part of "The New Day". Already learning things I don't want to know.
Xavier tells me that I need to train so that one day I can face off against John Cena. The tutorial walks me through the various moves, and combos, and it takes me a bit over 15 minutes to complete.
There are a LOT of moves to remember. At least now I can give it a fair review... except it's straight into a Wrestlemania ring. Xavier is now dressed in pink and yellow spandex, and is going up against his first opponent...
John Cena. Apparently. I can't see him, but I know he's there (sorry, not sorry).
"One day" is today. I'm wrestling John Cena. I can remember *some* of the moves from the tutorial. I'm... oh no...
...I'm enjoying this.
I'm playing WWE 2K23, and I'm having fun. I beat John Cena.
I BEAT JOHN CENA.
I put down the controller. My hands are aching.
I just had fun.
Playing a pro-wrestling sim.
Who even am I now?
I'm not about to sit down and watch WWE any time soon, but I'm not getting that 80Gb of SSD space back, either.
For a game that I was prepared to dislike SO much, I can't quite believe the words I'm about to write: WWE 2K23 is actually really:
4: Good